Kathryn is my bonus baby
I never planned to have a second child. I had trouble getting pregnant with Grace then had a horrible pregnancy followed by thirty hours of labour. My first words to Paul after Grace was born were: "I am NEVER doing that again." For well over a year we never even discussed the idea of another baby. Gracie had Meghan so she wasn't really an only child. Quite frankly, I did not want to press my luck. I had the healthy baby I had been praying for.
After a few years the idea of baby number two started to come up more often. Like all couples with only one child living at home, we were constantly told that we had to have another. Kids need to share, Gracie should have someone to play with, etc. etc...
I was reluctant. The first time around I had tried a number of drugs with unknown side-effects because I desperately wanted a child. But with Gracie in the picture I was less willing to take chances with my health: I was someone's mom!
Paul and I discussed adoption and started to get information from agencies specializing in international adoption. The process seemed so daunting and the waiting lists were long. "Would you be willing to try one cycle of fertility meds?" Paul asked me. I thought about all that entailed: giving myself injections in the stomach, countless blood tests and ultrasounds, crazy hormones. I looked at my beautiful Gracie and then at my husband. "One.. Just one," I agreed.
After a few months on the waiting list the process began. On at least three occasions we were hit with crazy obstacles that threatened to stop the whole project in its tracks. In each case an unlikely solution would drop in our laps. After only one cycle, I was pregnant. At the time I believed that baby was meant to be a part of our family. Only after meeting Kathryn would I realize how that true that really was.
Kathryn Adelaide
Finding a name was not easy. Paul and I picked a boy's name immediately (Noah for Paul's grandfather). A girl's name was more difficult. Sarah, Maya and Renee were all in the running but we finally settled on Lorelai, a name I fell in love with early on.
As my pregnancy was classified high-risk we got an extra ultrasound and coming into month five we found out we were having another daughter. My initial reaction was to say: "hello Lorelai" to the shadow on the screen but something stopped me. As we left the hospital I turned to Paul and asked what we would name our daughter.
"I thought we were going to name her Lorelai."
"What do you want to name her?"
"I want to name her Kathryn." (It is a name shared by of one of his favorite aunts and one of his favorite cousins.) The smile on his face was worth losing the naming rights for.
"Kathryn it is then. Can I call her Katie?"
"No, her name is Kathryn."
"Kate?"
"Kathryn."
There's something about Kathryn
I can't quite explain it, but there is something about Kathryn. It may be in her smile, or a gleam in her eye, or a tone in her voice, but there is something about Kathryn that makes people love her. The kid has her own little fan club.
If you have ever met Kaye in person you know about 'Kathryn speak'. She has some trouble pronouncing her R's and her Th's so she had to repeat herself a lot when she was younger so people would understand. Frequently Gracie would step in to translate as she spoke 'Kathryn' most fluently and always seemed to know what her sister was saying. When Gracie was not around things got a bit more dicey.
K: Momma, I bwushed (brushed) by haiw (hair) and teeth, so I'm gonna put it on the cho-chot.
Me: Cho-chot?
K: Yes the Cho-Chot.
Me:(in my head) cho-chot?, cho-chot....? (out loud) Where's Grace?
K: Upstaiws (upstairs)
Me: (in my head) Cho-chot?.... Kathryn, say it one more time for Momma.
K: CHO CHOT
Me: Sweetie I am sorry, why don't you just show me what you are talking about.
K: (pointing at the chore chart I had mounted on the fridge the day before). CHO-CHOT
Me: Oh, the chore chart.
K: That's what I said!
On another day...
K: Nana (my mom is making supper and does not hear her)
K: Nana! (still in the other room not hearing Kaye calling)
K: Nana (my mom looks up) Youw (you're) annoying me.
Nana: Excuse me?
K: I called and you did not answer. Youw (you're) annoying me.
Gracie: (who luckily intervenes) She is saying IGNORING
K: That's what I said!
One of my favorites!
K: Momma, how come my name doesn't have an F in it? It should have an F.
Me: No sweetie your name is Kathryn.
K: But there is an F sound
Me: No there isn't, it's a TH sound
K: (Pointing at her ear and speaking very slowly) Momma listen when I say it. KAFFFFWYN
Me: No, it's Kathryn
K: (shakes her head with disgust and leaves)
No Filter
Kathryn has no tolerance for foolishness -- Paul says she gets that from me. She sees no reason to play games or pussy-foot around. Kathryn will cut to the heart of an issue quickly and ruthlessly.
One day after circling the grocery store looking for something or other, I began to get frustrated. "Momma," she asked. "Why do they call it the Soupa Sto (Super Store), if it's not Soupa?" I could not help but laugh.
Kathryn also likes to follow our neighbor around when he does his lawn work. She chatters while he works and asks questions as they come to her. Some days it is about the lawn or the garden hose. Other times I cringe to hear her ask things like: "Why are you wearing that sweatshirt again? You wore it yesterday" Or, "You have more grey hair in your beard than my daddy, why?" She does not mean to be rude, she just wants to know. Luckily, the neighbor has a good sense of humor and a soft-spot for Kathryn.
Kathryn goes to school
With her quick wit and low level of tact Paul and I were concerned when Kathryn started school. Educators always assure you that your child will be different in the classroom but we had our doubts.
In junior kindergarten we were told that Kaye was the last one in her class to print her name. If this would have been Gracie I would have been panicking but with child number two you tend take these things in stride. I asked Kaye about it and she told me matter-of-factly that her name was too long to print. She had decided that she would only put a "K" on her work.
Me: There are five kids in your class that have names starting with K.
K: But they all write their names Momma!
I turned my head quickly so she would not see me laugh. That night we worked on our printing. It turned out that she could indeed print her name -- she was choosing not to.
The following year the teacher was concerned that her name was not printed correctly. She would only print her name with a capital R while the curriculum dictated that only the first letter should be capitalized. Apparently in SK, 'KathRyn' was not acceptable even if one could read at a grade two level.
It was February so I used Kaye's Valentine cards as an opportunity to work on printing.
Me: OK sweetie, write your name as neatly as you can.
K: K-a-t-h-R-y-n
Me: No sweetie, you need to use a small r. Can you make a small r?
K: Yes. (she prints a small r on the scrap paper)
Me: OK. Let's try again with the next card.
K: K-a-t-h-R-y-n
Me: OK again with the big R. Why?
K: It's prettier.
Me: But your teacher says you need to use the little r. Let's try again on the next card.
K: K-a-t-h-R-y-n
Me: Kathryn!
K: But Momma I am better at making the big Rs
Me: If you wrote your name properly you would get more practice!
17 Valentine cards all signed KathRyn. I wrote a note to the teacher telling her to let Kaye write her name however she wanted. Perhaps at thirty she will be a famous artist signing all of her work with that capital R. Maybe one day it would be her trademark.
The next parent-teacher interview did not go much better. Printing was still an issue but I was no longer willing to discuss it --let's face it, one day we will all be using computers anyway. This time it was about circle time. Kaye was having problems raising her hand.
Me: Kathryn, your teacher says that you have really good ideas and participate a lot in circle time. That's great. Are you raising your hand?
K: No
Me: Why not?
K: I know the answer.
Me: Maybe some of the other kids know the answer too.
K: But I said it first!
Me: Because they are raising their hands!!
Paul actually left the room during that talk he was laughing so hard. It is hard to get around her logic.
Katie G
A few months ago Kathryn made an announcement at the dinner table.
K: When I go back to school I want people to call me Katie.
Paul: Your name is Kathryn (he never really got over that)
K: I want people to call me Katie.
Me: Why? Don't you like your name.
K: I want to be Katie. It is shorter to write and there are no R's in it.
Me: No R's?
K: (sighing) The are seven letters in my name and I can't even say fwee (three) of them. I want to be Katie.
Paul: Your name is Kathryn.
K: Don't worry daddy. You can call me Kathryn when we are at home.
Kathryn loves dogs
Well, maybe it is more accurate to say that Kathryn really wants to like dogs. In reality she is scared to death of them. After a few run-ins she is petrified of any dog that may jump up on her.
Me: Just say DOWN when a dog comes near you sweetie. They don't want to hurt you. Dogs are just friends with fur.
K: But that's wude (rude)
Me: Rude?
K: They're dogs. It is not their fault that they can't talk. They just want to say hi. What if I say 'down' and it hurts their feelings?
Kathryn's new plan: to run away screaming lest she offend a dog that may want to jump on her.
Kathryn does have one dog friend that is the exception to the rule. My friend Jess has a black lab named Skye that Kathryn loves. Skye is calm and she doesn't jump! Kathryn was so taken by Skye that when Jess and Skye came for a sleepover Kathryn took it upon herself to make her dog friend feel welcome. After a quick game of Doggy Spa (Kaye combed a very patient Skye's fur) Kaye got a blanket and a book and cuddled up with Skye on her doggie bed.
K: Skye I am going to wead (read) you 101 Dollmations. It is a book about dogs.
(Skye watches cautiously as Kaye moves over on the dog bed and opens the book)
K: Now these are dogs but they are spotted dogs. You are a black dog. You are the blackest dog I have ever seen.
Unfortunately Skye moved to Alberta so they don't see as much of each other but Kaye still asks about Skye and gets excited whenever Jess posts more pictures on facebook.
Kathryn Speaks for herself
It is hard to describe Kaye so I hope that my stories about my beautiful girl will speak for themselves. Paul and I have tonnes of Kathryn stories and many of our friends have their favorites -- Jess loves to tell people about the doggy spa. Kathryn's way of looking at the world makes people laugh. She is honest, direct and funny.
Kathryn loves life. She wakes up with a smile on her face and she talks, laughs and sings all day long. She is in perpetual motion until she puts her head on the pillow and then falls asleep within seconds resting up for the next day.
A few weeks ago Kathryn started school full-time. I was excited for her because she was ready for the challenge but it also made me a little sad. For the last six years (with the exception of six months when I went back to work) Kaye has been my constant companion. She has chattered with me as we ran to the grocery store, she sang songs and told me silly jokes. I couldn't imagine how quiet my day would be without her.
I love you Kathryn
As I said at the beginning of this post Kathryn was not always in the cards for us. She was the second child we did not dare to hope for. For several years after Gracie was born we thought our family was finished. And then Kathryn came along!
Kathryn completes our family. She reminds us that life is supposed to be fun. Just because you're busy it doesn't mean that you can't have a good time. Kathryn does not take herself too seriously and she reminds me that I shouldn't take myself too seriously either. I hope she will carry this joy with her for the rest of her life.
Kathryn: your Momma loves you so much. I can't imagine my life without you. Happy birthday baby. Thank you for all of the laughs, for the hugs and for the lessons you teach me every day.
